Marriage

BJ and I have been married for almost 12 years now-which does not by any means make us experts on marriage, but it's not exactly the honeymoon anymore either.  At a time when marriage is tossed around like blind dates, I feel the need to just say a few things.  Take it or leave it.

When we first got married, I tried to live a life of perfection.  Which basically means I wanted the house clean all the time, and for the love of everything holy I couldn't understand why he wouldn't help me.  I mean why was it so difficult to see that the dishes needed to be done?  Why would he assume that I would be the one making supper?  Why did I have to work and do everything at home as well?  

I hate it when people assume things of me.  HATE.

Then one day I snapped.  I was yelling and griping and spewing out anything my hormonal mind could think of.  BJ listened.  When I was done yelling he simply said (in a very calm voice I might add) I would never talk to you like that.  He said it wouldn't matter what you did, I would never yell at you for not getting something done.  

...I have NEVER forgotten that moment.  Because he was 100% accurate.  

It was so trivial too.  

You know what I've learned since then?  For whatever reason-men see things differently than us.  He may not see that the end table has needed dusted for the past week, but if I ask him to dust it, he would be happy to.  Now, maybe you're not so lucky.  Maybe if you ask your husband to dust he wouldn't.  I am sensitive and don't want to trample on the feelings of those who have been married or are married now to butt wipes.

But the point is--marriage is to make us holy, not happy.  

As we struggle along this sometimes bumpy road, God wants to teach us how to love each other.  The trouble is we bring this baggage of expectations with us that don't always compliment each other.  

But the Scripture is clear ladies--we are to love our husbands, God is the one that changes them.  

So--if you're married, why not tell your husband something he has done right, instead of pointing out what he has not done?  

How would you like it if everyone pointed out all of the things you didn't do?